“Where Are You Writing From?”: The Three Stages of Emotional Authorship
- Kyra Schaefer
- Jun 19
- 5 min read
Introduction
Whether you’re writing a memoir, contributing to a collaboration book, or simply exploring your story on the page—knowing where you're writing from emotionally can change everything.
Most people begin writing because something inside won’t rest. A memory keeps resurfacing. A moment aches for meaning. A story wants to be named. That’s often where memoir begins.
But it’s not always where it should end.
There are stages to emotional authorship. Each one is valid. Each one serves a purpose. And while all are meaningful, not every stage is ready to be shared.
Sometimes, we write to feel. Sometimes, we write to understand. And sometimes—when the time is right—we write to offer.
This isn’t about polish. It’s about position: where you’re standing inside the story as you write it. Are you still inside the wound? Are you looking back with perspective? Or are you holding something larger than your story alone?
Let’s explore the three most common stages of writing from lived experience. None are wrong. But only one is fully ready to be shared.
In fact, some of the most impactful chapters we’ve published were written from different stages—what matters most is knowing where you're writing from, and writing it well.
These are the three stages of emotional writing—a framework that helps you understand where you are in your process and what your writing is ready for.
The Three Stages of Emotional Writing
Stage 1: Writing for Catharsis
Every personal story starts with a pulse—the urgent need to name something. At this stage, writing isn’t about craft. It’s about release.
This is where many powerful pieces begin.
But it’s also where many writers get stuck.
What It Looks Like:
The writing feels raw, immediate, and emotionally charged
Events may be described in detail, but without distance or containment
Emotions are still live: grief, anger, shame, heartbreak
Structure is minimal—more like a journal than a finished piece
The story is pouring out, not yet being shaped
Emotional Center: Expression
This stage is about naming, feeling, and letting go. It’s not about teaching or guiding—it’s about processing in real time. And that has value.
Reader Experience: Unfiltered Emotion
Because the emotions are still unprocessed, the reader may feel overwhelmed, confused, or uncertain where to land. Without narrative containment, the writing can feel like a private experience shared too soon.
Why Some Writers Get Stuck Here
For many people—especially those writing about something traumatic—this stage can last for years. Even if the event happened long ago, if the emotional processing hasn’t been metabolized, the story can feel just as raw. That’s not a failure. It just means the writing is still part of the healing. Until the nervous system feels safe enough to step outside the moment, it’s hard to write with perspective.
If you find yourself circling the same story but unable to move it forward, it might not be a writing block—it might be your body asking for more time.
The Gentle Risk: Exposure Before Integration
Publishing at this stage can create vulnerability without support. What feels healing to the writer may feel heavy to the reader—especially if the story hasn’t yet found its shape.
Ask Yourself:
Am I writing to process something, or to help someone else process theirs?
Either is valid—but they serve different purposes.
The Opportunity
Writing for catharsis clears the field. It creates emotional oxygen. It’s the threshold, not the destination.
Keep writing. Keep feeling. This may be the draft your heart needed—before the offering that’s meant to be shared.
Stage 2: Writing from Clarity
If Stage 1 is the emotional exhale, Stage 2 is the moment we start to breathe through the story differently. The writing slows down. The insight begins.
What It Looks Like:
The emotional charge has softened—still real, but no longer running the show
There’s perspective: you’re not just in the story, you’re outside of it, too
Structure begins to emerge: scenes, themes, meaning
The voice feels steadier. Less reactive, more reflective
The story no longer demands to be told—it’s ready to be shaped
Emotional Center: Integration
You’ve done some of the inner work already. You’re not asking the reader to hold your pain—you’ve held it yourself. Now you’re offering what you’ve learned, felt, or seen on the other side.
Reader Experience: Relatability and Resonance
When writing from clarity, readers feel less like they’re witnessing a purge—and more like they’re being offered a perspective. They see you. And they see themselves, too.
Why Some Writers Stay Here
Stage 2 can feel complete—and for many writers, it is. There’s clarity, containment, and often a sense of closure. But clarity isn’t the end of the journey. Sometimes, writers stop here because the story finally makes sense—and that feels like enough. But synthesis asks something deeper: not just to make meaning, but to become the meaning. It’s no longer about the story itself—it’s about what the story unlocks in others.
The Gentle Risk: Over-Explaining
Some writers overcorrect in this stage—swapping rawness for analysis. When that happens, the story can lose warmth. Don’t rush to sound wise. Let yourself still be human.
The Opportunity
This is where writing begins to carry power—not from pain, but from earned insight.
It’s not about proving you’re okay now. It’s about sharing what it took to get here.
You’re not bleeding on the page anymore. You’re offering a bandage.
Stage 3: Writing from Synthesis
Stage 3 is rare—and unmistakable.
It’s when the story you lived becomes something larger. Not just yours, but ours.
Not just personal, but cultural. Systemic. Timeless.
What It Looks Like:
The story is no longer the focus—it’s the doorway
The writer speaks with quiet authority—nothing to prove, nothing to hide
The writing breathes. It’s spacious. It carries more than it says
The personal becomes universal—without losing specificity
The writer is transmitting, not just storytelling
Emotional Center: Transmission
You’re not writing to express or explain. You’re writing from embodiment. The story has moved through you, and what’s left is signal—not just sentiment.
Reader Experience: Insight and Shift
Readers don’t just feel—they see. They step back and understand something larger.
Not just you, but them. Not just the event, but the pattern.
They leave with something they didn’t have before.
How You Know You've Arrived Here
You're not writing to prove you've healed—you just are. There's no urgency. The story isn't the center of gravity anymore. It’s woven into how you live, lead, and love. You write without performance. You speak without rehearsing. You trust your presence more than your polish. You’re not trying to inspire—yet people walk away changed.
The Gentle Risk: Too Smooth
When writing becomes too polished, it can lose its pulse. Don’t mistake synthesis for detachment. Let the reader still feel the heartbeat underneath the clarity.
The Opportunity
This is legacy work. Not because it’s perfect—but because it moves beyond you.
The story becomes part of a larger conversation. One the reader can carry with them.
This framework isn’t just a theory—it reflects the natural evolution we’ve seen in many of our most powerful AYW authors.
Conclusion
Writing from experience is a sacred act. Every stage matters.
Stage 1 helps you breathe.
Stage 2 helps you build.
Stage 3 helps others remember what they already know.
You don’t have to rush the journey.
But if you’re thinking about sharing your story, it helps to know:
Where am I writing from?
And what’s the most generous version of this story for the person on the other side of the page?
Write for you.
Then write for them.
Then write for something bigger.
Every stage is valid. But clarity around the stage you’re in?
That’s where the magic begins.
🔹Looking for more support with your writing?
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